…which means fall is coming!! I love fall- I love that it transitions from summer, and you can wear more things- my wardrobe has expanded.
The reason I’m writing is that I’ve realized that life isn’t the same as it used to be. I absolutely love Boulder, but my parents live in Colorado Springs, so that’s hard. I either need them to move to somewhere up here, or I need to move back to Colorado Springs. Boulder is great because I have so much more independence than in Colorado Springs- since I don’t drive right now, I can ride the bus most everywhere I want to go, and I have a ton more friends in this part of the state. But I’ve kind of realized how important having them nearby is- like today, my mom is skipping her haircut and driving the hour and a half to come get me. Something needs to change here, so I’m not so lonely.
Although my friends should do what they want to, no doubt about that, it was just hard for me when I saw on Facebook them doing something I used to be a part of. It has kind of overwhelmed me lately that my life is in absolutely no way like it used to be, and I haven’t gotten used to that yet. I haven’t gotten used to the fact that there are different, “adaptive” ways that I can do things. I have put my fingers up in an “X” when I hear the word “adaptive.” But maybe that’s a way to keep doing what I love, but in a kind of different way.
I’ve realized that my balance and my coordination gets in the way of things I like doing- like cooking and exercise, for example. I used to be right-handed, and since my accident caused hemiplegia on that side, I’m now left-handed. And my balance gets in the way when I exercise. For instance, I’ve noticed yesterday that when I do spinal balance, I am on my knees, and the opposite leg and arm operate together. That’s fine when I lift the right leg to use with the left hand, but when I switch and use the left leg with the right hand, I notice it’s much more difficult. I never used to consider it, but your balance plays a huge role in the things that you do.
Having a TBI has made things extremely difficult. I can’t do the same things I used to, I’m not the same person that I was, and my dating life is absolutely null. I didn’t think that mattered, but having someone else to talk to when you’re going through a change is extremely important. I’ve relied on my parents, which has been great, but I would like someone my own age to go through this with.
If you have any suggestions on how to deal with these things I’m experiencing, I’m all ears.
(Image found here. I love the pattern of many photos, etc. on the wall over the couch.)